luckymeliscious

H1N1 Shots at the Palace of Auburn Hills today.

The H1N1 shot line.  The clinic starts at 2 p.m....this was taken at 1:45 p.m. 

 

And 2:40 p.m.

 

And 2:50 p.m.

 

I think my azz is grass if Chris and Dean ever make it out alive....

 

Updated 3:56 p.m.
And Done!

 
 
 

Really? No Bond?

Man denied bond after 10 bodies found

Probably a good idea. 

However, when you've got the neighbors of a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER that has already SERVED TIME FOR RAPE reporting that they saw a naked woman fall from a 2nd story window of his house...don't you think that should have raised some eyebrows?

Amazing use of law enforcement.

Touche

Ah yes...the days after Halloween when all bloggers are busy uploading pictures of their precious tots in their Halloween Beggin' Garb (as my grandpa would say), all proud and beaming at their beautiful off spring...and where's the picture of Dean you ask?  Where is he in all his pirate cuteness?

Well, he's not here, that's for damn sure.  Someone (we won't name names) decided that he couldn't be bothered with any sort of dinner Saturday before the festivities and thus resulted in my once cute and undemanding 4 year old turning into a short yet scary and very believable rendition of Godzilla 2009.  He's blond, and slightly less scaly, but he can sure still throw a shit storm when he's mad!

So, no photo's.  Godzilla refused to be photographed without his agent and publicist present.  All I could get was his face planted into the kitchen floor and his ass up in the air because "look at my butt!, NO!  No pictures, LOOK. AT. MY. BUTT. MOMMY!"

Some say I give up too easily.  I say Touche.

And then I tried to lose my job, Dooce style!

There's not allot of fun in today's workplace...we're all stressed out, over worked, and hanging onto that glimmer of hope that we'll actually get to KEEP our job a bit longer than the guy next to us.  Yea.  It's backstabbing business in todays workplace. What can you do?

So, when a meaningless conversation makes me laugh until I cry, I like to share that with my friends.  In all honesty, this will probably not even strike you as remotely funny.  It might be more of one of those you had to be there situations.  And then you weren't there.  and then I posted it anyway.

Anyway, here goes.  This morning's Instant message conversation.

Someone…………………   My message was about how cool we are by now telling our movers to just use a hack saw to cut our furniture, to make it work

Someone Else…….    Sorry, I lost instant messaging for a minute there. I'm back :)

Someone……………….    Did you get the hacksaw message?

Someone Else…….    nope

Someone……………….    Did you HEAR the hacksaw idea?

Someone Else…….    maybe that is our new xmas gift

Someone Else…… we can just go hacksaw the shit

Someone……………… Hey Bob the Mover!  I'm going to need you to hacksaw the shit out of our cubicles until they fit!  Sound like a plan Bob?

Someone…………….   What do you mean you don't carry a hacksaw?

Someone…………….   What kind of crap mover are you???

Someone…………….   My boss can hacksaw ANYTHING into place!

 

 

Mi Casa...you do not want Mi Casa to be YOUR Casa right now

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Drum Roll Please.....

Come on, I said drum roll.  Don't tell me you've never seen National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.  I know you can drum roll with the best of them, right along with the Griswalds.
 
 
  

What are we drum rolling for? (I still don't hear you by the way)
Finally, after 8 1/2 months of having a large hole in my living room ceiling AND in my sons bedroom ceiling, the shit might actually get repaired.  I have seen the drywall.  It sits in my garage as I type this. I know it to be true.

And yes, you read that correct, I did say 8 1/2 months.  My husband should really be thanking the prozac gods.  Before Mothers' Little Helper came along, I would not have lasted 8 months without having a nervous breakdown with my house in such disrepair.  I am anal to the end (god, now I have "Latino 'til I die" stuck in my head, Rico Suave, thanks crappy early 90's music).  To be honest, I'm surprised that my husband lasted this long.  Because of the living room hole, we haven't had any curtains on our huge, 3 pained floor to ceiling window that runs the length of our living room.  This has really cut down on his ability to eat peanut M&M's naked at midnight.  It also gives the government spies full access to our goings on every evening.  (Oh, they are out there, don't doubt it Scully! And we are HUGE on their list for top secret goings on's).  I'm surprised that I didn't come home one day to find sheets stapled over the windows.  VERY. SURPRISED.

So needless to stay, my house will be in a constant disarray for I'd guess the next 2 weeks or so.  Which means I will be avoiding it at all costs.  It's almost like a obsessive compulsive disorder...I just hate it when things are not in their place.  It makes me bat shit crazy and I don't know why.

Can I come stay at your place for a while?

Dream Big or Stay Home (I guess)

So, you've all heard of Texts From Last Night (if not, get out from under your rock and check it out, that is some funny shit!)  I now present to you, without further ado, Texts From the Lewis's.  (Ok, so the names a bit rudimentary, it serves its' purpose.)

Me: I am so disappointed in you
Him: Now what?
Me: I used the phrase "man meat" in an e-mail, and you didn't even reply back?
Him: Ok, how about this, when you get home how about you (insert explicit dream that will never happen here).  There, how's that?
Me: Not the response I was looking for.

Hello Monday, you SOB.

My hair looks like Ally Sheedy via the Breakfast Club today.

Hair FAIL. 

Theraflu Wishes and Vampire Dreams

Well, it's been a busy 2 weeks.... birthday parties, trips to the south, boiled peanuts, cave dwelling, casino gambling and now I have a heinous cold that I just can't seem to shake (Note to all the attendees of the upcoming Capac HS Reunion this weekend...worried that you'll be the least attractive there?  Don't be. My swollen sinuses and bloodshot, watery eyes have you covered my friend!) What I have discovered with this cold is the joy of cold medicine and sleep.  The one lends itself to the other quite nicely, but I do think sometimes, maybe a cold medicine cocktail may be a bit too strong when your not a regular "partaker".

Example: Falling asleep the other night after a nice Theraflu shooter, I was thinking about both of my grandma's that I have lost this past year and a half.  Reminiscing I guess.  When I find myself wondering (and I mean I was seriously questioning this) "why does everyone in my family chose to be cremated.  Don't they realize how hard it will be to come back as a vampire that way?"

Ehem.

More later folks, I promise.  I have a million pictures to post and so many things to catch you up on.
Oh, and apparently I have a vampire fetish to address first.

Happy 4th Birthday Dean! (and some misc rambling.)

So, birthday gifts wrapped.  Check
Balloons and presents delivered to the restaurant. Check
4 year old ready to terrorize New Seoul Garden tonight.  Check.

4.  I can't believe he is 4.  To this day, I still can't believe that I am a mom. That I have a son. It still feels strangely odd at at times.  A bit unreal. A bit amazing.

 

I'm looking forward to our week down south, but at the same time, I dread missing my son.  I know he'll have a great time with grandma and grandpa so why all the guilt?  I suppose I'll never know. The guilt, the fear, the Xanax. They go hand in hand it seems.

Oh, and something a bit on the lighter side to leave you with for the next week.
Conversation with fellow employee today:
Me: I love her hair
Colleague: Who, the one with the red rinse in her hair?
Me: Yeah, it's gorgeous, and she styles it in all these different ways. Up, down...
Colleague: Well you could do that if...uh...
Colleague: Wait, do you cut your hair all the time or does it just not grow?
Nice.