Dr: Hey, how are you? So you got my letter...your triglycerides were a bit higher than I expected. That surprised me.
Me: I know. What does that mean? 'cause like I googled it and it means that I'm a raging alcoholic.
Dr: Did you go to Web MD again?
Me: No...I ..uh banned myself from that website months ago...but you know, Google, that's still valid, right? And it said that I am a raging alcoholic!
Dr: Well, or there's the idea that your body just doesn't process carbohydrates very well. Or that your eating too much Wonder Bread. That's an idea too.
Me: I suppose. I did start eating sweets when I was pregnant...
Dr: and did that continue after the pregnancy?
Me: well, yeah...uh...
Dr: and you know, the rest of your test results were wonderful. Good overall cholesterol, great good cholesterol, low bad cholesterol, amazing blood pressure, good liver and kidney function...if you were a raging alcoholic, there would be other indicators, despite what Google might say...hey, you were the one that diagnosed yourself with "Back Cancer" before, weren't you.
Me: uh...yeah, that was me.
Dr: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
(I'll be celebrating with a very large dirty martini...just in case Google is right)