luckymeliscious

Stop the Merry Go Round! I want to get off!

This weekend was BUSY!

And by busy I mean, dog puke on the carpet...lets have those cleaned...carpets are soaking wet, let's have Dean stay the night at Grandma's....Saturday morning is Thomas the Train, let's pick Dean up ooober early and be down there at 9:30....train this, train that, merry go round ride, train that again....and then meet grandma to hand off Dean at 1:00 p.m. so we can make the 3:00 p.m. Wings game with friends. 

Whooh.  I just wore myself out thinking about it again. 

But it was a great weekend.  We even had a chance to spend a few fleeting moments with Fer and Family amidst the Thomas craziness.  I do feel a bit sorry for our pregnant designated driver for the evening portion of the festivities...we fed her well...hopefully that was enough.  And thankfully I left my camera at home after Thomas the Train.

If only bubbles came in chocolate.

Does anyone in this family know how to smile at the camera?
Seriously!!

I hereby swear to honor Thomas and take seriously the voices of Alec Baldwin and George Carlin when they are narrating on the Island of Sodor, no matter how much I hate to listen.

See that Zebra?  Looks innocent, but you should see the huge bruise I got getting off of that Zebra
(yea...that's what she said)

The train...she is a comin'!

And that's the only picture I got of Thomas.  Damn camera battery.  Or damn girl who forgot to charge the damn camera battery.

Give or Take a Year

So, Tuesday night...laying in bed...my husband turns to me and says:

Him: In about 2 more hours, your be 38.
Me: 38?  You mean 37.  I'm not going to be 38 (although even as I'm saying it...I am doubting my age.  Math is NOT my high point)
Him: No, we ARE 37, you're going to be 38 this year.
Me: Shit!  Really??  I thought I was only 36.
Him: Wait...no, you're right...you're going to be 37.
Me: Thank god!
Him: F*ck! I've been telling everyone that I'm 37 this entire time.  I've only got 4 months left now to be 36!  Damn it!  I've lost an entire year!!

That is some funny shit right there.

Did anyone else watch this when they were little?

I loved this show.  We didn't have MTV or anything like that out in the C (CAPAC).
I can remeber running in circles in the swimming pool with my sister, chasing each other, we were both KIMBA.

Dean loves this video...I only wish the show was still on.

Cows and Pigs and Chickens. (get it? It spells CAPAC)

*Disclaimer: I grew up in Capac, I can say this shit.

I am sure all 5 of you have heard about the recent cop shooting in Capac, Michigan.  As a dedicated ex-Capac citizen, I have spent the majority of this morning trolling for the most accurate story line.  Below are some fine examples of life in the quiet, socially challenged town.

From a news report on the recent shooting of the Capac Sheriff and deputy:
Resident Anthony Klobnock described the suspect as a heavy drinker who kept to himself and said he likes to work on cars and listen to loud music.
No wonder it took the police department an entire night to find the suspect.  That just described 90% of Capac's residents and the surrounding towns.  That's allot of suspects to go through.

Another goody:
I am glad this lunatick was caught.  He will do a lot of time on an attempted murder charge. I hope he likes balogna sandwhiches cause he will eat a lot of them at the jail.
Thanks JoMamma.  Your comments are heartfelt and clearly establish the sentiment of the town.

And lastly, my favorite comment posted on one of Freep's articles:
This does not surprise me at all. Capac is the worst city in the U.P.!
Ahem.  You do realize that the story you just commented on made note of the fact that Capac is located approximately 45 minutes north of Detroit.  You are FROM Capac, aren't you my well educated friend.

CAPAC- So cool you can spell it backwards.

Edited at 1:15 April 17 to add this little beauty:
maybe burke was trying to grow his own apples and the sherrif said,"kill it before it grows." so he shot the sherrif but he did not shoot no deputy
Yeah.  Maybe that was it. 
Definitely from Capac.

Tree Boy- Part Deux, The Ash Tree's Revenge

I got this e-mail from my husband just a few minutes ago...

I called the power company.. Said there is a power line running along the back of our property, and there is a bunch of dead ash trees within feet of it.  Said there was a power crew out last year clearing the other connecting line.  Asked if they were coming back.   Said there is a limb resting on the power line right now from said dead ash trees.  Said I was going to cut them down, and what did I need to do so I didn't get electrocuted.  Said there was about a half dozen, maybe seven of the bastards...all dead and waiting to fall.  All within feet of their precious power line.   They didn't like that.  Politely said "stay the fuck away."  Going to send an assessor to have a look and determine what to do.  All this means:  Free tree removal service.  Thank you, thank you very much.  Whenever I'm given a gift, I always like to compensate.

Politely said "Stay the fuck away"? 
I think they remember him from 2 years ago.  Given his history....they know they're gonna end up out at our house anyway...may as well work around their own schedule. 

I know the neighbors will appreciate not losing power.

Jaded

We left Home Depot Sunday evening and while Chris was getting Dean into his car-seat, he was approached by a young guy…probably in his very early 20’s, I really didn’t get a great look.  And I hate to stare.  It’s rude. 

But I’m great at eavesdropping.

I heard the young guy go quickly on and on about his plight.

He had run out of gas.

His younger sister was in the car.

Their credit card had been declined.

They needed money to get gas to get back to their home in Brighton.

They had tried repeatedly to reach mom on her phone with no success.

He seemed nervous.

He asked for $10 bucks.

He kept his hands in his pockets.

I kept my mouth shut but the silent vibes of “Don’t you DARE give him any money” were surely resonating off of the Home Dept store front.

Chris did not offer him money, but an offer for a ride to the gas station was politely declined.  They had no money; their credit card had been refused. Chris apologized that we could not help and we started to leave the parking lot. I assured Chris it was a scam. The kid was talking way too fast…why had they run out of gas in the Home Depot parking? It had to be a scam.

But What If, Chris wanted to know.  He seemed like a nice kid, what if he was telling the truth.  What if they were stranded?  What If. 

I could tell Chris kept mulling it over in his head.  It didn’t seem right to just leave.  And honestly, I was sadly disappointed in my quickness to judge this kid.  What if Chris was right?  What if he was telling the truth and no one in our damn jaded society ever bothered to help or care anymore?  I hated thinking that way, so I told Chris he could turn around.  Of course, I masked my concern with a humorous “you wanna give him 5$ big man? Go ahead and turn around, that’s fine”.

So we did turn around.  But we didn’t go directly back.  Chris wanted to think of a plan before he approached the guy.  He at least wanted to see his gas gage. We parked in an adjacent Michael’s parking lot so we could see if they were even still there.  Maybe someone less jaded had already offered a helping hand. 

And then we saw them.  The young guy approaching a family of four as they returned to their SUV.  His sister waiting in the car. He spoke briefly to the driver of the SUV and then the family got into their vehicle.  OK I thought, we should probably go over there.  But then they pulled their SUV in front of the stranded car, car hood to car hood, while the kid pulled jumper cables out of his trunk.  JUMPER CABLES.

We sat, a bit awe struck.  The SUV pulled away after the stranded car was successfully started.  As soon as it was out of sight, the car was turned off and the young guy was back out hurriedly selling his plight to a new group of unsuspecting Home Depot patrons returning to their car.  We sat watching...trying to make sure we really understood what we were seeing.  And then, for some reason, his sister got out of the car.  And I recognized her.  And Chris recognized her (OK, she was young and cute, what do you expect).  She had been walking over to another car when we were walking into Home Depot.  I had admired her sunglasses.  I wondered now if they had noticed us watching.

We sat for a while longer…watching, still awestruck, still surprised, and then the sister called her brother back over to the car.  She now got into the driver seat and the car started coming our way. Like the prospects of an easy hit might be better in the Michael’s lot?

No, they had seen us, and the girl quickly drove by our car, her brother hunched down in the passenger seat.  The jig was up.  As soon as they drove by us, they left the parking lot.

I wasn’t happy to be right.  I wasn’t pleased that my first natural instinct was LIAR, SCAMMER, but it was.  I am glad that Chris’s gut reaction was to go back. Even if they were truly pulling a scam, that won’t always be the case.  And I'm glad that at least one of us is not jaded enough to still care.

Me?  My new hobby is now going to be looking for a white 2 door piece of shit with a bungee cord holding the trunk down.  Let me know if you see one.  Oh, and rest assured, they don’t need gas money.

Guilt in the Form of a Stray Hair

Do you know what I did today?  I'll tell you.  I ate a taco salad for lunch from a local bar.  Well, actually, it was half of a taco salad left over from dinner last night.  But here's the difference.  Last night, I was careful to eat AROUND the deep fried shell, consuming only the lettuce, chicken, veggies and salsa.  Salsa only.  No sour cream.  They gave me sour cream, a small container of it, but I refused to touch it.  REFUSED. I'm a better person than that.  I have WILL POWER.

Today at lunch, I took one look at the deep fried shell and dug in.  Yummy!  The sour cream?  Give me more, what's with this one little container.  Cheapskates!  I ate, I enjoyed...I DEVOURED IT ALL.

And then I saw it.  The hair in the bottom of the carryout box.  The hair that was not red and therefore NOT MY HAIR.

Damn those Diet Fairies. They'll get you every time. And they're mean.

Communication at our House

Is sometimes like speaking Caveman...

Without all the sticks and stones to actually form a sentence.

(The above cave drawing contains some material that many parents would find unsuitable for cave children younger than age 14. It contains intense violence, sexual content, or strong language. )